Hi my fellow friends/bloggers/readers,
Sorry that I had been gone for so long. My blog is a beauty/makeup blog and I've never blog about my personal life or shown or write anything bad/complaining or even comment on any social media of mine or anybody else or even using other names to to this sort of things before.
Through out my life I had forgave any person that do harm to me whether be it words or physically, as long as they apologize or I can see that they don't mean what they do or say. Besides that I call and file a complain against a taxi cab uncle 15years ago, that's all. Besides the uncle is being extremely rude while I was just politely asking him to full blast the air-con please and thank you, it was not appreciated and I got scolded from the taxi uncle but regardless this is not what I have suffer in-justice from.
I'm from Singapore if you are new and reading this now out of just curiosity. I'm going to cut the story short and to point out the important parts and not to leave or create any anything that is not true to what had happened to me.
I've been recommended to "Lakeside Family Centre" location at the west side of Singapore by some very nice police officers here.. Even I don't think I need to go and I shouldn't be the one going or shouldn't be the one going alone...I went in search of help or even new ideas that will benefit me and more importantly get along safely with living with my parents hopefully with less conflicts (Side note: my mum is a schizophrenia). My parents are never the easiest people to live with even when I was a kid... Anyway lets not get side track straight to what happen...
I actually go and had been with them for estimated 1 year at least with a session of 1 hour every 2 weeks. I had been to counselling when I was a teenager before so at least I am not new or difficult to get into talking to a stranger then the first time! I have a very dis-functional/ abnormal family(parents only, even as an only child I am not that lucky regards what most people will think or thought) and that happen when I was a teenager and it was very long long time ago since I'm already married for 6 years.. I had an incredibly great/good counselor last time and always thankful for what she did but SADLY GOOD did not happen this time at the Lakeside Family Centre with this counselor Simon... He has been dozing off quite a number of times in separate appointments in this 1 year (I told my husband what happen almost every time when I go for appointments especially if my counselor is dozing off I would come back and tell my hubby and at first he laugh about it but for the rest of the times my hubby"s reaction was "He doze off again!?") I forgive this Simon without telling him off (in order not to embarrass him I treated and pretend that it never happened and just let it go without asking /confronting/telling him at all) or even complain to his superior.
In this 1 year there are always things which he can't remember which I have to tell and repeat again and again. I try my best to understand his position too! Example: he might have too many clients on his hands throughout his career as a counselor so he might not remember too much about me is understandable.
The last appointment before he went on holiday is 8 May 2015 at 2pm that this is what he had said " I'm going for holiday and during this period of time I'll be thinking to see if I can help you since I'm not sure I can help you or had help you at all during all these sessions." not exact words but that whats I think he meant. I was already mentally prepared to be let go by their organization after what he said but I did not harbor any bad thoughts or even being angry about it at all.
My next appointment was arranged and it is 3 June 2015 at 2pm, on that day he called before the appointment and say that he is unable to meet me and ask could he change his appointment time to another date and time and of course I agreed and the appointment was changed to 12 June 2015 2pm.
It was drizzling rain on that day 12 June 2015even before 2pm and I carried an umbrella and walk to their Centre which is a bus stop away from where I was staying but walking takes me 15 minutes. Even it was drizzling I was sweating and dripping with sweat by the time I reach. I ask for him at the front reception area and waited for him to come out, straight away he lead me to one of their rooms for counseling we went in and sat down. Usual he will on the air-con immediately after we go in but this time he did not. I'm still sweating a lot while trying to pay attention to what he had to say.
This was what I had heard and think this is what he meant " This few weeks I give it a thought and don't think I can help you at all, I TRIED MY BEST, you could go to somewhere else that is more suitable for you, a support group?!" I did saw a sticky note with him on my file and guess he might be giving me the address to the place he mention but I was really angry because it seems that he do not want to explain or tell me why and the worst is he seems to want to get me out immediately like we have not known each other and I feel that he became hostile instantly a so quick change in words, action and the way he used to use words are always carefully, technical and polite is completely became opposites by now my sweating had became worst and the heat was unbearable in that enclosed room with no air-con switch on. I pointed to the air-con while I keep wiping away my sweat and he said " Its only a short while and you will be out by then." I was treated like a stranger after he decided he can't help, attitude changes so fast, I know they have to maintain a distance and not become to attached or become friends with their clients but that was instantly cold, like i am not fitted to be even an acquaintance yet they are all Christians from a certain church if I am correct. I'm sure Christians preaches about love to everybody but how come he is behaving the way he behave??!!
I was really pissed off by that attitude of can't wait to dispose me more faster and when I heard what he said " Its only a short while and you will be out by then." I started asking and telling him. Me:" you said you tried your best but how can you try your best when you are dozing off during our appointments quite a number of times at different appointments?! And I find myself always repeating things that I had told you before?! I know you have a lot of clients throughout your career but have you really pay attention and make an effort remembering even something at all?! I once told you about my teenage experience with my previous counselor, yes I told you she bought things for me but I don't mean you should do the same but I was telling you indirectly that actions show how you really treat me or other people and clients?! I told you my experience with my previous counselor is to discreetly/Indirectly tell you that you are not trying your best and I'm feeling no sincerely from you at all and you are telling me things just for the sake of showing others that you are doing your work and job?! I already came prepared and know you are going to tell me you can't help me when you told me before your holiday saying you need to go and think about how and if you could help me!? BUT I NEVER EXPECT THIS KIND OF ATTITUDE, I'm not unreasonable but you could have a better attitude and really actions DOES speaks louder then word from the moment I walk in here today.!! I could have accept what you told me and gladly smile and take my leave peacefully and thank you for trying to help!! But you never even bother to explain why and was giving the feeling of kicking me out instantly since I'm officially not your client!!!??? Where and what is your supervisor's Name I would like to speak to him!?"
At first Simon didn't wanted to tell the name after I asked "don't I have the right?" he gave me and said Edwin Quack(spelling might be wrong for his sir name but that is how to pronounce it). Simon told me he is not around and he has went for training and if I want to talk to him he will be back on Monday 15 June 2015. I was worried they would avoid me if I call or went down their Centre so I said "if you all were to avoid my calls or be unfair, unjust or have attitude problem not admitting what you have done wrong I will make sure I blog about it!!" I stormed off immediately with tears of anger in my eyes dripping down from my face...
Yes just few hours ago I called his Supervisor Edwin Quack(spelling of his sir name is wrong can't remember how to spell) and give me a *uck up attitude too!! Mentally prepared to get bad attitude from them again as this is way too common in Singapore, a city filled with people not admitted their mistakes is one thing but can give you a hell of an attitude even they are in wrong in the first place. At first when he was just putted through by the reception he was very polite and sounds happy and cheerful but when he ask me who is he speaking to, the moment I told him you don't know who exactly am I but I'm Simon's ex-client , immediate change to his tone, attitude and can sense that huge change. I still try to calm down and wanting to give him or should I say them a chance I told him "I hope you will be fair and try to understand what I had experienced with your staff and not to just side him just because of that."
I tried telling him Simon keeps dozing off but he doesn't want to even hear my side of the story and keep cutting me off by just saying "What do you want from me?! What do you want?! I work and know Simon for a while already and I know my staffs! What do you want Simon to do? Do you still want to continue with us here?!" He keeping repeating and continued to cut me off not wanting to hear anything from me. I wanted to give this guy that is his supervisor a chance to apologize, admit they are in wrong at how they handle and treated me that last time I was at their place was wrong. A simple sorry and I will let it go but NO he did not. Hoping that their religion and faith of what they believe in will make them fair is not even possible from the response that I got from him at all. I wanted to give him a second chance so I tested him by saying "you could attached a different counselor for me" and immediately he said "NO I WON'T!" I was just testing how will he react, what will he do,will he feel any guilt by not wanting to even listen to my side of the story at all. I didn't really mean I will go back I was just merely testing him and see what will he say?!
If I remembered correctly Simon did recorded a few of our session a few times I believe as I him on that video cam, and he played our recorded session to me not the whole but part of it and I remember very clearly that it was one of that days that I caught him dozing off ! Not sure whether that did that angle caught him dozing off a not! They are seriously very unprofessional both Simon and his Supervisor Edwin. My luck of keep meeting this kind of people!
This below is what I copy and paste from their website:
Mission & Vision
Mission
We, at Lakeside fulfill our Christian responsibility to the society by caring for the community.We provide quality services, focused on the needs of individuals and families in the community at Jurong, regardless of race, language and religion.
We work in harmony with our neighbours , the community and the government.
Vision
Changing Lives, Transforming CommunitiesCore Values
1. Missional2. Competent
3. Capacity-building
4. Compassionate
5. Christ-like
6. Outreach-focused
7. Team-ministry oriented
The highlighted parts are highlighted by me which I think both of them didn't do that that when their bad attitude started! All Christians preached about love and even I am not one I know because I had ever read a bible before so I do know the core and values of what they believe and I respect that. *PS: One of my uncle which is now a business man and living in Thailand was once a respectable preacher that actually preach all over Europe and England back in his days before he became a full time business man(my dad told me or else I wouldn't even know he is a Christian or a preacher which never speaks bad about other religions) and even I'm not that close but I have actually stay a short while like a week with their family there before and even talk whenever I saw him during family gatherings which he had completely no such bad attitude like this two people that is in the same religion like my uncle. I had and have always respected this particular uncle because he was a brave person, in his teenage years he was a gangster but he completely turn his life around.
(I'm just making sure that I explain myself properly and I don't hold against Christians just because we are not in the same religion, I respect my uncle and I respect what he believes in.)
For what I believe and what my religion believes in with total faith in what I believe in I am pretty sure I still can do a lot better then now! I am not perfect but always trying continuously to improve on myself and my behaviour and attitude(no point telling you what religion I am in but I will listen to my teachers that taught me is best not to tell people for if you don't explain yourself in the right way other people might have a bad or wrong impression with my religion and if that happen I sin for scaring them.For what I can say now is this In-Justice I suffered, I still believe in forgiveness, love, Compassionate and etc..
I am a person that will give other people chances even if those people don't believe me or just pushing the blame all towards just me.I can't even remember the countless time I forgave people that do things so bad to me beyond you could even imagine! Just a sincerely apology being as soft-hearted as I am I will always forgive.
Even Simon and Edwin did what they did I need thank them still, my teachers told me even others wrong me I still need to thank them and I can train to be more compassionate and forgive no matter what happens.I'm also a believer of retributions. I did not lie and there is really no point of me making this up, wasting my time doing all that and telling all these lies to get attention. I really need help but my parents are the ones that should be in the counseling since they are the one that started it. My dad do not think that he is at fault but if you hear my full life story you will be shock what I went through and still am standing and just living like a normal person.
I swear thaat if I lie and make up all theses things I will be condemn in the gates of hell and never reborn as a human again on the things I have mention below :
That I really caught and saw Simon a few times dozing off right in front of my face during those sessions, I am shortsighted but I am NOT Blind and those times he keep asking me the same thing over and over, which I still answer and don't mind ! How to believe that he try his best to help me by these actions that he is doing in front of me???What is wrong? It is the attitude and the approach which is completely rude and completely unprofessional. Supervisor Edwin, it is a good thing to believe and support his staffs/church members but not just trust blindly completely not wanting to hear any thing at all from my side of the story. The way he talk to me is completely unacceptable especially if anybody that is working in a religious place, a completely different method and not just said what he had said! I don't think other people at his organization is at fault or to to be blame for both their individual actions and words. Completely very unprofessional as a supervisor!
Everything would not had happen if things were to be just done correctly and respectfully, and in the end there is no remorse and no apology from anyone of the both of them. Edwin's attitude on the phone saying he trust and believe his staff(Simon) since he had been with him for a while already is is indirectly is saying that I am the one that is lying and Simon has never done whatever I said, also that what I try telling Edwin means nothing or even worth considering truthful to him. He Edwin is still human and not a god or even god's son Jesus so may I ask how does Edwin knows that Simon didn't dozed off at all! Is that what they taught him? By judging others yet not their judge their own as long as he trusts him and not bother to give a serious investigation about it before saying anything??? . Since their organization core is from a church they shouldn't side Simon and judge me because they're still only human. In Singapore there is always this kind of things happening and Singapore is a civilize place yet history repeats itself at different locations and to other different organization , I truly regret I never use my mobile phone to film it down as proof .
For Singaporeans that need help and wants desperately to find a place that can help you my advise is to you is: yes you can still go to Lakeside Family Centre Website: www.lakeside.org.sg for help but just look for others to help you and avoid dealing with both them.. I never got to know or talk to the rest of the people so its not fair if I judge the rest of the people in their organization just base on both of them.
I will forgive but forget is going to take a while but I will try my best and it is the right thing to do based on my religion and my beliefs and what I was taught by my teachers.
I am so disappointed with the people here in Singapore! The culture and attitude here is as long as no proof with any thing black and white or videos there will be no way of proofing anything! Even if you are right or example my case, people are never going to believe me and I have no way of getting the correct and right justice. A simple sorry I also never get.I am a very simple person even if Simon did not apologize and when I call his supervisor Edwin... Edwin should have done his job and listen to what I have to say, by not just taking sides because of whatever they had in common, just a simply say "sorry for what you have been through I'm not going to take sides or who to believe I will try posting another person(PS: even if they post a new counselor I'll not agree but gladly accept the other place recommendation) if not I could recommend another place to you."
Yes they're not charging money and giving free help..good for them to help the people in need and do things that will benefit people in need but why am I the unlucky one that got that kind of attitude from them?
I heard from my friends that the same things and same attitudes at other places ranging from many different types of places to organizations, be it organizations that give free services or sells and make profits, even normal people here are giving attitudes a lot! Example: I remember somebody(can't say who but for those people that knows who I am talking about, you should know who) saying if you don't like it you think you can get what you want else where go ahead, What has Singapore become? A place just base on black and white evidence,unless if you are rich and powerful because poor people don't get justice?? Are there really no morals now a days and just talk? So everything is judge on just so call proper proof which too can be manipulated through technology what about the moral sides? Legal (Equals black and white and evidence)?
Human morals! Why can't humans admit and learn from mistakes made from history? Yes different races, religions but still I see humans attacking humans!Terror attacks happening and is shown in those U Tube videos.... Especially those with bad attitude and why is admitting their mistakes such a huge problem if you are wrong?. No matter what colour skin you have or what different gods you believe in aren't we all still same species a HUMAN?
This isn't the first organization, people I got bad impression on here in Singapore and I know it is not going to be the last and just learn to suck up it up! This is becoming the culture and life here! My whole life till now I hate talking bad things regarding any individual person, I always try to avoid complaining about people but the attitudes and morals just is not the same or compared to the olden days and right now it seems to be getting worst! I am not a saint but the least is I still try to reason and put myself into their shoes with people when things happen.
What Simon and Edwin did even I can't proof it now it does not matter because in the end I'm sure there will be retribution. Thank you Simon and Edwin for making my life a bit more miserable, I had learned from this bad experience and continue to train myself to be a better person by forgiving you to reach my goals and beliefs in my religion. In fact my teachers always says that these might be my saviours and for me to become a better person and it will be constantly a reminder not to treat other people the way they treated me.
No hope is left if Singapore continues to have this kind of if you don't like it leave it kind of bad attitude because morals are equally as important as developments, how much money is coming into Singapore etc... No morals and people living only for face and money will not lead or contribute anything to world peace at all.
Remember and strive for the good parts of the olden era which teaches kindness and why it is so important to be polite and not hurt others...
Sorry for my long winded post . I really hope those who actually took the time to read it pass it on because in this new era there is not really much moral left and we need to preserve it and let it grow more!
Your thankful blogger Diana
